Most interviews are conducted respectfully, but if you interview enough, eventually someone’s going to ask you something that’s unbelievably inappropriate. They may ask about your family expansion plans, your age, your health, your marital status. Sometimes a skillful interviewer will try to get this information in a creative, indirect manner. For example, you may hear “what does your family think about a job change” while they eagerly wait to hear if you’ll mention a spouse or kids. An answer of “everyone close to me is supportive of whatever I think is best,” will put them off.

What To Do?

If the questions get too blunt, you have a couple of choices. You can answer them directly (which, frankly, most of my candidates do), you can point out that the question isn’t relevant (which might make you feel better, but will probably make you sound a bit priggish so you won’t get the job anyway). Or you can be smart and turn the question on its side. If asked about children, for example, you might respond easily that your personal life is in order – there’s nothing to keep you from doing whatever it takes to get the job done. If someone actually asks your age, saying "old enough to know how to do this job well" will deflect them and only an incredibly insenitive interviewer would try to take that further.

Make 'Em Squirm

If you're really put off, though, you can always follow "Julie's" lead. I set her up for an interview with the newly-installed president of a local web-based company. He was probably intimidated by her – she’s smart, successful, confident, tall and gorgeous. He started openly trying to trip her up, asking challenging and inappropriate questions. After the third one, she stood, said that it was clear that something about her made him uncomfortable so it was probably best to cut the interview short. She leaned over, shook his hand, wished him luck, and took her exit. Within 10 minutes, their HR director had me on the phone, clearly nervous about fallout. When I checked in with Julie, she laughed the whole thing off. He was just a jerk, she said, and she had no intention of working for him. (Status update – he was fired shortly afterward – karma!)

Some interviewers may try to get information out of you, but you're responsible for what comes out of your own mouth. Don't talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable or positions you in a bad light. But at the same time, keep an eye out for hints that the job may not actually fit your lifestyle. And read Wednesday's post to learn more about that...